Just Do It

This phrase has been over the past 5 years or more been a very hard concept for me to grasp. My mom has told me to do it, my husband has told me to do it, Nike tells us every time that we see the swoosh to "Just Do It"--but yet, I still can't. And, it's not like I haven't been trying! But, after 12 years of wanting and needing a child, and not having one...it gets kind of old listening to people tell you that. Especially when you just have this feeling that it's never going to happen...because everything in your body feels un-feminine.
I have PCOS--I am suppossed to be on Metformin. I have facial hair because of this, and I have to shave it everyday. There, I said it. Even completely healthy couples only have a 20% chance according to my gynecologist of conceiving.
My husband has never had a child, or gotten anyone pregnant--so I don't know if it's him too or not, and he doesn't have medical insurance.
It's $150 to get a check on his sperm.
I have tried to lose weight, but I can't here lately because I can't get out and exercise and every healthy eating that I've tried has not accomplished anything but me gaining weight.
I have felt all hope was lost until I read this scripture...

Mark 9:23........ "If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.

That means EVERYTHING--even a girl with facial hair, that feels more like a man than a woman, can conceive a child. Women in the bible who were barren conceived, why can't I? And, that was before 'diagnosis(es)'. That was when the ONLY physician was the Lord God Almighty Himself!!

I have a loving husband, who wants to conceive...although he has an addiction that he is currently held on to--which is cigarettes...but even when he quit, we still weren't getting pregnant!

Anyways, I still am buying onesies every now and then when I see a cute one that our baby could wear--that I could picture it wearing!
I'm hoping to bear some beautiful redheads in God's timing...even some with dark hair like their daddy!

~Ashley