Biggest Loser Cardio Max!!

Sooo...that thought about change, yea, so it's coming now...slowly, but it's coming. Hubby bought me the Biggest Loser dvd until it gets warm enough I can go out and walk.
I think it will do me more than good, because it does things that only trainers can teach you to do, and works parts of your body that you don't normally work out with walking.
Anywhoo, I need to get the sculpting one too, I want that one once I've lost some weight though. I'm hoping by the time it warms up I can start my speed walking again and maybe even run! This girl suggested that I do that, and with the way my knees are crackling and popping, maybe, one day, I used to run when I was younger. I need to love myself again, I stopped loving myself because I finally found someone to love me the way I am. But, I remember what happened the last time I let someone love me the way I was. It lasted for about 4 yrs, and after a while, I did what I'm doing now, stopped taking care of myself, and became bigger than I am now. I don't want that to happen again. I don't want to only be fit when I'm single just to get a guy. I want to be the mommy I can be and I don't want the unwanted/unhealthy pounds to keep me from my hearts desire and that's becoming pregnant. Food is not more important than having my little Samson that God has promised us.
Samson Elliott Day, he will be ours, real, and hopefully dimples, and goofy like his daddy. Hopefully not to head strong and mouthy like his mommy, but on fire and worship for God like his uncle Christian, and his mommy and grammy.
I hope that he gets his hospitality from his grandma Day, and he gets his good looks from his Grandpa Day...who will be watching over him forever.
I hope that he gets his respect for our country like his Grandpa Smith...and his comedic view from his uncle Nate.
I hope that his cousin Tori can make him smart, and I hope that his other family will decide to be a part of his life, even though I don't want them as an influence.
His other family meaning some on my side and some on Charlie's.
I know when God gives us him that we will never EVER be the same, we will be so grateful, even though we are grateful NOW. We are praising Him NOW for what we have, and what will come.
I just can't stop looking at other people's preggo bellys and imagining when will it happen to me God?
When will you bless me like you did Sarai in the Bible? When will this barren land turn fruitful? I know no matter what that your timing is PERFECT and that when it happens we will be two very EXTATIC lil new parents !
God Bless everyone, and goodnight...
Ash